I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
