we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
