I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
