so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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