her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
