Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
