Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
