Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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