i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
