So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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