No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
