I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
