When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
