I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
