Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
