areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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