we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
