WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
