Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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