when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Two words: blizzard sex
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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