She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
