erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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