STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
