he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
