i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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