she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
