Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My life is pants optional.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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