So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
