Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Mom said you looked used
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
