I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
