It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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