dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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