There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
