Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
