U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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