I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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