She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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