I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
