I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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