He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Randomize
