The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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