Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
