Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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