Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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