Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
