I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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