In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
