I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
