Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
