Im at strip club and am horny
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
