3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Damn victory sex feels great
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
